Standing up for myself

On my emotional development level wanting to please others is important. My True Love is the perfect example of how this shows up in my life. Once I had the hiccups, and after listening to it for a while, he got tired of it, and said to me: “Okay, that’s enough.” And the hiccups was gone. That has worked ever since. Every time I have hiccups, I can just bring to mind him saying that line to me, and I stop to hiccup. It’s brilliant!

Pleasing others has however resulted in lack of assertiveness. A few weeks ago I did a clarity through contrast process with a dear friend and a fellow coach, because I had had experiences of conversations which had left me feeling insecure and uncomfortable. On the contrast side I had written “I don’t want to end up in situations where I don’t know what to say or how to reply.” And then I struck through that statement.

When I had figured out what it was I did want, the sentence on the clarity side stated “I know always what to say and I feel proud of myself of how I handle the situation.” Reading that statement out loud made me feel empowered and optimistic. I could recall one occasion in the past when I had acted in that way, and I still felt proud of myself. For couple of days I re-read the statement, but then my focus moved on to other things.

Assertiveness, relationships, success, win

Just a couple of days ago I got again proof how powerful it is to put a thought in to my mind with strong positive emotions. I was putting the dishes to the dishwasher, while my True Love sat by the table holding our little one on his lap. I was organizing the kettles to be just the way I wanted, and was most likely adjusting them for the third time, when my True Love made the famous comment: “Okay, that’s enough.”

There the new clarity kicked in. I replied to him: “You can go to the living room, if you can’t stand watching!” I could hear that he was little taken aback when he answered with a low voice: “I just thought you wouldn’t stand reorganizing those kettles anymore.” I understand his view point and his attempt to help me stop doing something he took as unnecessary.

But I was SO proud of myself for that comment. I didn’t took his words as the absolute truth. I didn’t feel bad about reorganizing those kettles for the third or fourth time. I was able to protect the activity that was important to me. And no negative feelings came afterwards either. I’m still proud of myself for standing up for myself.

With love,



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