At another state

About five years ago I had my first experience with the states Ken describes. I was reading Charles F. Haanel’s book The Master Key System and doing the exercises. I was actively making the distinction that I wasn’t my bodily sensations, I wasn’t my emotions, I wasn’t my thoughts, but the one who thought those thoughts. And at some point I felt that I left my body and I was rising above it. It was a real shock and rapidly I was snapped back into my body.

Now Ken is bringing me back to it. Awakening will happen through states. Ken has already guided me through several meditations to help me get to that state again, where I’m not my body, my emotions, or my thoughts. He teaches me to realize that I’m the awareness behind all of them. The sensations, emotions, and thoughts rise into my awareness, which I am. There’s nothing else outside of this awareness.

Ken shares a research in which the scientists monitored brain activity of people who are able to stay awake when dreaming and in deep sleep. Learning about the possibility to stay aware even when sleeping was somewhat unsettling for me. I’m not completely sure what makes that possibility scary for me. My True Love couldn’t see anything scary in it, to which I half jokingly commented that he hadn’t seen my dreams. But if I would be awake, I would know that it’s a dream, so there’s really nothing to be afraid of, right?

Awareness, states, meaning of life

Knowing about the states I have started to think about Jed McKenna. I assume that he is at the non-dual state continuously. What I would like to know is at what level he is. We interpret our experiences according to the level we are. He lost the meaning of life when he reached the non-dual state. I’m thinking about the green level, where people question everything and there’s only separateness, no real big picture. On the green level meaning is seen as context-bound, which could lead to seeing life in general as meaningless.

I think that was one of the reasons why I wasn’t ready to follow Jed. I want to believe that life has meaning, and that my life matters. A big part of my breakdown after reading Jed’s books came from the thought that everything would be meaningless. Jonathan Black’s book The Secret History of the World, and now Ken’s Superhuman OS have given me hope that I can find the meaning of life and make my life matter.

With love,
Laura

Shock

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