Before Christmas I was hopelessly addicted to several TV series, and was constantly looking for new ones to watch. My days went by with my eyes fixed on the screen of my laptop, following the latest turns of a murder investigation. Now I have woken up to the fact that I haven’t watch any series for several weeks, and the thought of watching an episode hardly ever crosses my mind.
When that thought does arise, I let it stay for a while, but very soon it fades away. I used earlier those series as a reward for accomplishing something from my to-do-list. But too often they became my procrastination system, and hours passed by with episode after episode, my little girl trilling and babbling on my lap. After those kind of days the characters of the series came into my dreams. Understanding the impact those series had on my mind I gained more willpower to give them up.
The reason why I watched previously so much of those series, was my lack of clarity. With the opportunity to choose what to do I followed my impulses in most cases instead of making a conscious choice. Now that I know that I want to read Integral Life Practice and listen Superhuman OS, it’s easier for me to set the intention for my activities. Before I tried to find something to do by looking around me, and often my mind had time to come up with the idea to watch the latest episodes. Because I had nothing better to suggest instead I let my mind lead the way.
I discussed about my current commitment and focus with a friend, and she asked what had changed, what made it now possible for me to stay committed and focused. I don’t think there’s any single moment or event that I could point out. My commitment today is the result of a search that has lasted several years. Today I feel that I have found what I have been looking for and that makes it easy to commit and focus.
The feeling of doing the right thing removes the need to reward accomplishments. I look forward to doing all those things during the day. Even though I don’t need the carrot to do things, I will need to celebrate my progress. But that won’t include any episode of a TV series. I’m thinking of coloring a picture from my coloring book. Then again I could be listening Superhuman OS when doing that. What a beautiful win-win situation.