Setting myself free

Today was the first time I questioned my reactions when things weren’t going the way I would have wanted them to go. In similar situations I tend to get aggressive and try to revenge the disobedience. You can imagine how unaffected the cucumbers and knives stay facing my attempts to hurt their feelings. The situation is worse when my frustration is directed toward our little girl, and she is the reason why I want to change my behavior.

Karen writes how emotionally open children are quite mild and don’t experience a lot of emotional energy, when they are on their own. Remembering this sentence earlier today conjured up my questions about my behavior. According to Karen, I’ve been conditioned through my open centers, my Emotional Solar Plexus being one of them. That means that I have taken on other people’s emotional patterns and think now that they are my own.

Now I truly understand why Karen says that it takes seven years to decondition myself. I have five open centers and four defined ones. The defined centers are the true me and I want to learn to know them as well as live by them. With the open centers I need to learn to recognize what behavioral patterns I have taken on and how I’m taking in the energy from the people around me as well as to learn to manage both of them.

Conditioning, emotions, openness

Karen sees that individuals with emotional openness are here to learn about emotional energy and to gain wisdom about feelings. Feelings and emotions have been my pain points for most of my life and I now understand where it comes from. I continue to repeat myself about the importance of awareness. Knowing that most of the feelings I experience aren’t mine helps me put them in perspective and handle them more effectively.

Karen shares that we carry our wisdom in our openness. Distinguishing between my own emotions and those I have taken on or am taking in from others will make my life less of an emotional roller-coaster ride. Although I don’t think that learning to do that distinction will be easy, once I master it, I will become freer to live my life on my terms. And I will be able to help my little girl do the same.

With love,
Laura

Conjure

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