So many people have told me recently how my life is only about the story I tell to myself, about the perspective I choose to take towards the matter at hand. Ken Wilber tells me that there is always four sides of the same coin, and I would say that every side has its different nuances to add to the mix. My True Love has helped me see the other story of a situation, and I have also myself succeeded in changing the story I’m telling.
Ken speaks about quadrants when he wants us to consider a matter from a broader perspective, or from different perspectives. Those quadrants are the subjective interior, the objective interior, the subjective exterior, and the objective exterior. They are also called I, It, We, and Its perspectives. The different stories that I have heard and learned to tell are more about the nuances of the same quadrant.
I was buying a coconut oil and in the store I was examining the different jars, trying to identify my best choice. In every jar the oil seemed to be even, without grains. All the jars had however a hole in the middle of the coconut oil. I would have wanted to find one without it because I thought, illogically, that the jar would contain less oil with a hole in the middle.
At home my True Love commented on the hole that it proved that the oil had been stored in an optimal temperature, because it hadn’t melted in between. Hearing him say that opened my eyes to the other aspect of the matter. I could see the ridiculousness of my resource awareness. The jar was 400 grams, with or without a hole in the oil. I also appreciated my True Love for helping me see the positive side of the hole.
More recently I found myself playing the role of a victim as I was thinking about my current situation where I am in the process of combining motherhood with my coaching practice. I heard myself complaining how I didn’t know what it would look like. I wasn’t even sure what I exactly wanted. I felt depleted and I was ready to throw in the towel. Then I paused. I realized that this is a perfect situation to live according to my strategy.
I don’t need to know what the future will look like. I don’t even need to know precisely what I want. The only thing I need to do is to make decision by responding. When life presents an opportunity to me, I will say either yes or no, or actually uh-huh or uh-uh, to it. This story gave me a boost of energy. Following this story line made me feel much better. And I was able to see the positive side of the situation, this time on my own.